Over the last month or so, I’ve lost my best friend due to lies. I’ve never really talked to anyone about it either, but maybe I should have. Maybe all my feelings wouldn’t be bunched up inside me waiting to spew out at any given moment. I can’t help but think about all the good times we had with each other, now all I do when I think about it is cry. I try to think of the positive for being without him. But there’s nothing good about not having him here. I feel like I can’t tell anyone anything anymore because I just don’t trust them.
Sometimes, I wish I never even went to turnabout just so I didn’t lose her. But, it was a chance I was willing to take. And now, I have a friend who is there for me 100% of the time and I know he will never hurt me. He hasn’t hurt me in 11 years; I think it’s safe to say that he will be here for me until the end. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust someone like I did before but I’m going to try my hardest. Sometimes bad things happen so better things can fall into place. Sure, I’ll be pretty upset for a while, but that’s what’s expected when you lose someone you’ve been best friends with since you were 10. Even thinking about the whole situation makes me want to cry, but I need to stay strong through it all. There is nothing I can do to change the past even if I really wanted to.
When I regret something I did, I just remember not to make the same mistake the next time and try my hardest to make everything better. Through this entire process I’ve found out that I have some acquaintances that were never really my friends, but then again, I found out that I have some really great friends that I can count on forever. Even if it isn’t who I thought it would be, at least you have someone. You will always have someone who is your friend no matter what you have done to screw things up with other people. I’ve learned to keep your friends close because they’re one of the most important things you can have.
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